The Do's and Don'ts of Living in Dubai

The vast majority of people living in this Emirate are expatriates, in fact the local population is only around the 10% level (which has the locals spooked).  So if you're new to Dubai, or thinking of moving to this metropolis, here are a few do's and don'ts to get you started:

Do's:

• Enjoy yourself.  There's a ton of different cuisine to try here as well as some breathtaking architecture.  The nightclubs are lots of fun too ;)
• It's a Muslim country, albeit it with a deepening western veneer.  Do remember this and act accordingly.  Antics like this one will definitely get you into serious trouble.
• Respect other cultures.  Dubai has so many nationalities it's hard to keep track of them.  You could be walking past a Nepalese couple and then find a bunch of Icelanders behind them.
• Remember to be careful while driving.  Drive defensively and carefully and remember that other drivers will over and under take you.
• Remember there are more non-uniformed police than uniformed.  Ever wondered why Dubai's so crime free?
• Learn a few Arabic words and phrases.  If you're feeling really fruity try to learn the numbers and alphabet.  Takes a bit of doing, but it'll be an endless source of amusement for you when you can.  OK, it won't, but it will impress your friends.
• Learn the true meaning of Insha'allah and use it in its proper context.
• Get used to the time difference.  One minute here = 5 minutes of normal time.  I.e. if someone says he'll be there in 5 mins it'll probably be 25.  That's if you're lucky.  If you're unlucky he probably won't bother to turn up.
• Get to know people.  People here tend to be less insular than other, more crime-prone countries.  Take advantage of it.
• Expect queue-jumping.  Now when it's a fragile 85-year old, L-shaped 4ft 6" great-granddad in a dishdash you don't mind so much.  It's when it's a perfectly healthy woman who saunters straight to the front that you'll get wound up.  Don't throttle her, just learn to accept it with zen-like calm and then take it out on the car dashboard.
• Look both ways when crossing a one-way street. Then look again.

Don'ts

• Drink alcohol in the street, or get caught drunk wandering the street.  You'll be in prison before you know it.
• Smoke, eat or drink in public during daylight when it's Ramadan.  If you're lucky you'll get a slapped wrist, if you're not you'll be in prison.
• Stare at women in an abaya (the all-covering black cloth).  It's impolite to say the least.  Also make sure you ask permission before taking any still or video camera shot with an abaya'd woman in it.
• Attempt to bring drugs into the country, or to buy them here.  You'll be spending 4 years minimum in a 0-star Govt facility as bubba's girlfriend.  Don't do it.
• Expect everything to be the same as your home country.  Some things will be better (like the weather) some will be worse (like the TV).  Just accept it.
• Assume everyone uses the word "Insha'allah" as it's meant to be used.  Some nationalities use it properly, some simply use it as an alternative to, "No way will that happen!"
• Drive like an idiot.  Let the professionals do that - you stick to watching and learning.  Seriously though, Dubai's notorious for its poor driving.  Please don't contribute to the problem, it's not pretty scraping up someone's remains from the tarmac.
• Wear inappropriate clothing, especially in shopping malls.  Mall of the Emirates even has stickers now promoting "appropriate clothing".  Haven't figured out exactly what is appropriate, but if you're showing more skin than you're covering it's probably a safe bet you need to add an extra layer.

Paul.

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