Diary of a Slumlord: A/C Condensers (aka Rant #1)

If neighborhood residents are so depraved and pathetic that they will tear apart an air conditioning condenser unit to steal the parts and sell them to buy vials of crack, then there is really only one lesson to be learned: people in that neighborhood don’t deserve air conditioning.

Actually there are several lessons here, but it’s hard to see past that first one.

But beyond dismissing these individuals as half-civilized creatures who never bridged the missing link (a point I’m not quite ready to concede), let’s examine this phenomenon from a slightly less… emotional perspective.

A more insightful lesson might be that the worst neighborhoods are easily overimproved, and overimprovement is a landlord’s nightmare. So, in crime-ridden neighborhoods, minimize the luxury, and maximize the security. That means bars over the windows instead of new flooring, it means security doors instead of a new kitchen.

It also, incidentally, means that if you’re dumb enough to put in central air, put an asshole-proof cage over it. I learned that lesson the hard way.

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