Common Writing Mistakes that make you Look Stupid

[Gerry]

Here are some tips for non-writers. These are the most common errors that PEOPLE LIKE YOU are making every day. They drive many people crazy - I don't know whether anybody ever left a realtor's web site because of any of them, but I know that (Industry plug!) I wouldn't hire any professional who's too cheap or ignorant to hire an editor for his published material.

1) "Its" vs. "It's"

This is numero uno - the most prevalent mistake on the web, I think. Geez, just try to remember that the one with the apostrophe (') is the contraction. Contractions have apostrophes! ("Y'know", "don't", "wasn't", "'twas", "rockin'".

So, if the one with the apostrophe is the contraction ("it's raining"), then the other one must be the possessive one! This presents problems for people because we're accustomed to using an apostrophe to show possession ("Gerry's canoe"). But please - try to remember - we don't use an apostrophe for the possessive form of "its".

Correct: "The plane lost its wing at 3000 meters. It's a bad day to fly."

2) "You're" vs. "Your"

This competes for most common error on the web. (It certainly comes up a lot in msn conversations and the like, probably because these are more likely to be written in the second person.) Again, note that "you're" is a contraction - it's a shorter version of "you are".

"Your" is NOT used for "you are". You should NEVER write "Your funny" - unless you WANT to be ridiculed. "My funny what?!"

3) Don't use the apostrophe for plurals! If there is more than one of something, you usually add an "s" without an apostrophe.

Correct: "I like your vats of cheeses. Too bad you're closed on Sundays."
Incorrect: "I like your vat's of cheese's. Too bad you're closed on Sunday's."

4) Dangling modifiers! Explained in Wikipedia. LOTS of people are guilty of this one, including here on our own writing team.
Some ridiculous sentences happen, like "Covered in newborn lambs, residents say the hillside is particularly pretty in the springtime."

5) Stop capitalizing everything!

The real estate industry is especially bad for this. Lots of agents / brokers think they'll seem more appealing as Capitalized Personalities. The result usually looks really stupid, and just confirms the fears of many almost-FSBO'ers.

Generally, you only want to capitalize these:

• The first word of a sentence
• The beginning of a (full sentence) quotation.
  Eg, The copywriter said, "You'd better capitalize my job title." The other writer said he would "rather die". (More info)
• Proper nouns, as in, nouns which name a specific person or place. Eg, Nancy, Chicago, Keller Williams. (More info)
• Job titles - But ONLY WHEN they are used as part of someone's name. We would say Nixon was a stellar president, or we would say that President Nixon was pretty stellar. But in real estate, you won't be using the title as part of the name very often. We don't say, "You should hire Broker Williams," or "You should call Realtor Bob". (More info)
• Capitalizing Titles of Things (useful to know for headings)
• Capitalizing Proper Adjectives - interesting! But probably not required reading for all of us.

6) Enough with the exclamation marks!

The exclamation mark (!) can elevate your tone, and might even convince readers to be as excited as you sound like you are. But in careless hands, the exclamation mark is a deadly enemy! You look super-flaky if you use it too much. (I think there was a Seinfeld episode where Elaine was criticized for this.)

7) There / They're / Their

Use process of elimination first: You should KNOW how to use they're because it's obviously a contraction of "they are".
eg: "Look at the bananas. They're crawling with fruit flies."

Once you've ruled out they're, you know it's down to either their or there, right? Now you just have to memorize that there refers to a location ("it's over there") and their is used for stuff that belongs to them ("their reactions were priceless"). If you can remember which phone number goes to which person, you should be able to remember this toughie.

8) Per se (Purr say')

People often write this as "I don't exercise per say". However, it's per se, Latin for "by itself".

Because it's not English, it should also be italicized.

9) "Piqued my interest"

It is not "peaked my interest". "Pique" comes from Latin-and-then-French origins, and refers to a prick (like from a needle).


Anyone care to expand on this list?

[kid disco]

7) i before e
except after c
or when sounding like a
as in neighbor and weigh

[Smuck]

My all time favorite ~ Never use no double negatives.

[pcdoc]

Compose in Microsoft Word, <F7> for Spelling and Grammar, copy / paste into Notepad to remove Word formatting.

Also, the new Firefox 2.0 features inline spell checking to automatically check for spelling errors and suggests corrections.

[Gerry]

Thanks for the contributions!

I just want to add a cautionary note, though: A lot of people think that spelling/grammar checkers are a safeguard against looking stupid. However, they won't catch most of the things I mentioned above. So, don't think you're safe just because you use the spellcheck! Learn the rules!


I am so uptight.

[Smuck]

...I am so uptight.

Nope, good advice.

BTW, my recent favorite thang is the spell check on the Google toolbar. If anyone is not aware of it, it checks for spelling errors inside of form fields like those used here at the forum. Uhhh, umm, some of you (yeah YOU) need to start using it!

[Gerry]

That's good advice too (but remember my warnings against thinking spellcheckers protect you entirely!). For those who have the Google Toolbar but can't find what Smuck is talking about, click on "options" on the toolbar, and look for the box to check.

[Denver Buyer Broker]

Man am I guilty, glad I found this, FINALLY.

[webmaster]

Great read Gerry, it was even worth a DIGG Anyone else with a DIGG account, vote for Gerry's why we look stupid thread located at http://digg.com/offbeat_news/Common_...pid_on_the_web

[Sam Dodd]

I think we need an explanation of the three "There" along with the rules.