Myself, It would totally depend on the situation. If most of my links came from a forums such as this I would post a courtesy link to let everyone know.
Sometimes its not possible to contact a lot of the people depending on where the links came from, i.e SEO's not rerpresenting the customer anymore. If I can not find my link where I think it should logically be with in a couple of clicks, I just delete the link.
If someone moves your link outside of a logical place it should be i.e. Virginia Real Estate or Mortgage Loans, either its totally deleted or the link partner is uneducated about linking and it wasnt beneficial for you anyway.

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