Favorite Spam Emails

[REW Tyler]

Everyonce in awhile I get one so far fetched its worth a laugh. Most of these I just read for enjoyment, and the odd occasion I'll email them back laughing at them.

Dear Friend,
My name is RICHARD JAMES of Barclays Bank London. I am writing you regarding an oppurtunity in my office that will be of immense benefit to both of us. In my department we discovered a sum of $52.750 million Dollars (Fifty two million, Seven hundred and fifty thousand Dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers Late Mr. Morris Thompson 61, an American who unfortunately lost his life in the plane crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261 which crashed on January 31th, 2000 including his wife and only daughter.
Please, read more about the crash on visiting this site.
http://www.cnn.com/2000/US/02/01/alaska.airlines.list
and
http://www.nativefederation.org/hist...mThompson.html
Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin or relatives to come over and claim his money, because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking policies.
Unfortunately, his supposed next of kin being his only daughter died along with him in the plane crash, leaving nobody with the knowledge of this fund behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I and two other officials in this department now decided to make business with you and release the money to you as the next of kin or beneficiary of the funds for safe keeping and subsequent disbursements, since nobody comes for the claims, and we don't want this money to go back into Government treasury as unclaimed fund. The banking law and guidelines here stipulates that, after five years such money will be transferred into banking treasury as unclaimed funds.
We agreed that 30% of this money will be for you as foreign partner, while the balance of 70% will be for us.
I will visit your country for the disbursement according to the percentages indicated once this money gets into your account. Please be honest enough because trust is our watchword in this transaction.
Note this transaction is confidential and risk free.
As soon as you receive this mail.please do your very best to get in touch with our (FOREIGN PAYMENT DIRECTOR) email at: ********@virgilio.it or ******@virgilio.it

All necessary arrangements for the smooth release of these funds has been finalised. Our Foreign Payment Director, Mr. NELSON BRIGHT will give you specific instructions on what to do. Please in your response include your telephone number for easy communication between us.
Best Regards.
Mr Richard James.

I got spammed by Rick James!

[tom]

I read them every once in awhile, but have never got one from anyone famous! Imagine that, Rick James...

I've yet to ever get a response from any replied emails i've sent them. Probably because of the wording I choose to use when doing so, bashing them on any spelling and grammatical errors I might find. Funny thing is, I cant spell for crap - and got C's in english my entire life. I always found that odd that I never got anything other than C's. You would think it would sway at least one year, but no...all average.

[zelvenschi]

I will be more rich, I have 40% from 55 million.

I am CAROLINE EDWARD, a solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to
Mr John Zel a national of your country, who used to work with shell development oil company in Nigeria.Herein after shall be referred to as my client.
On the 21st of April 2004, my client, his wife and their three children were involved in a car accident along sagbama express road. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost there lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to contact you when I have not seen any member of their family.

I have contacted you to assist in repatriating the money and property left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge deposits were lodged. Particularly, the city trust finance company where the deceased had an account valued at about $55 million dollars has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confisicated within the next ten official working days.
Since I have been unsuccesfull in locating the the relatives for over 2 years now I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since you have the same last name so that the proceeds of this account valued at $55 million dollars can be paid to you and then you and me can share the money, 60% to me and 40% to you I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through.
I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from anybreach of the law.
Please get in touch with me by my email and send to me your telephone and fax numbers to enable us discuss further about this transaction.

Best regards,
CAROLINE EDWARD ESQ

[Jim Erickson]

I Am Spam, Spam-I-Am.
That Spam-I-am.
That Spam-I-am.
I do not like that Spam-I-am.
Do you like E-mail spam?
I do not like it, Spam-I-am.
I do not like your E-mail Spam.

Would you like it here or there?
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

Would you like it if it's lewd?
Would you like it in the nude?
I would not like it if it's lewd.
I would not like it in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

Would you want it at your ISP?
Would you want it 'cause it's free?
Not at my ISP. Not even when it's free.
Not if it's lewd. Not in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

Would you? Could you? From afar?
Take them! Take them! Here they are.
I would not, could not, from afar.
You will like them. You will see.
You will like them. You'll buy from me!
I would not, could not buy from thee.
Not from afar! You let me be.
Not at my ISP. Not even when it's free.
Not if its lewd. Not in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

A bunch! A bunch!
A bunch! A bunch!
Could you, would you, love a bunch?
Not in a bunch! I'll not buy from thee!
Not from afar! Spam! Let me Be!
Not at my ISP.
Not even when it's free.
Not if its lewd. Not in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

Say! On a lark?
Here on a lark!
Would you read it on a lark?
I would not read it on a lark?
Would you, could you think again?
I would not, could not, think again.
Not in a bunch! I'll not buy from thee!
Not from afar! Not at my ISP.
I do not like it, Spam, you see.
Not even when it's free.
Not if its lewd. Not in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

Would you, could you, A pyramid scheme?
I would not, could not, a pyramid scheme!
Would you, could you, something really obscene?
I could not, would not, something really obscene.
Will not, will not, a pyramid scheme.
I will not read it on a lark.
I will not, will not think again.
Not in a bunch! I'll not buy from thee!
Not from afar! Not at my ISP.
Not even when it's free.
Not if its lewd. Not in the nude.
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
I do not like it Spam-I-am.

You do not like it, so you say.
Read it! Read it! And you may.
Read it and you may, I say.
Spam!
If you will let me be, I will try it,
You will see.
Say!
I do detest your e-mail spam!
I do! I hate it! Spam-I-am!
I really hate you, and your floozie!
I will hunt you with an Uzi!
I do not want that something really obscene!
I do not want your pyramid scheme!
They should take you to the deck!
And once there... should stretch your neck!
You are so evil, so evil, you see!
Get thee Satan away from me!
If I could find you and your ISP,
I would piddle in your shoes and on your knee!
I find you crude! I find you rude!
I do not like you here or there.
I would not like you anywhere.
I do not like your e-mail spam.
Death to you Death to you
Spam-I-am.

I read too many Dr. Seuss books to my kids!!!!

[Auliya]

hahahh that was awesome!!!! I love it!