I did my first 2 blogs and was hoping that I might get some feedback.

Don't worry be harsh if you feel that is appropriate. I can take it. I will read all responses and take what I can from them and make my next blog better.

Thank you,

Jim

__________________
James Boyer
RE/MAX Properties Unlimited
Morristown, NJ 07960
973-647-0253
Serving the Real Estate markets of Morristown, Morris Township, Madison NJ Real Estate, Chatham NJ , Summit, Short Hills, Millburn, Maplewood, South Orange, & West Orange Referals happily given and accepted. For information on home sales in New Jersey please contact. Morristown NJ Real Estate Madison NJ Real Estate Chatham NJ Real Estate

Ah, much better

Jim,

Here is my take. It is not meant to offend and offered as constructive critism.

It's a bit of a negative isn't it?

You start out well talking about yourself and your new neighborhood and then in the first paragraph interject a negative comment (at least I took it that way) about other agents marketing techniques (btw, when using the word it is supposed to be REALTOR® (caps) with the trademark. I realize many do not do this, but it is appropriate to do so. I often just use Real Estate Agent).

I myself avoid negative comments whenever possible. You never know who will read the blog and you may have to work with these agents in the future. There is always a positive way to say something negative. Example: "I use full color brochures when marketing properties. [begin link to email]contact me [end email link] today for a free no obligation sample."

As you progress in your blog it seems you are a bit angry with "this woman on Old Glen". Again, my perception is you are being negative regarding what she has done and said to you.

It's interesting really when you think about it, because (just guessing here since I don't know the street or area) she has a valid point about this parking lot. If they do expand doesn't that business have to have the expansion plot zoned commercial? Wouldn't that hurt the proprty values if all else around the immediate area are residential?

Anyway...

My suggestions would be:

1. Tone down the negative impact.
2. You have a family, in both your introductory blogs there is very little about them. Introduce us (the visitor) to them and what your family enjoys. It becomes personal to the viewer and I believe they will appreciate knowing what type of person they may be doing business with in the future.
3. Again, a few links (1-2 maybe 3) to pertinent information on your or other websites (I realize you don't have one yet, but at least get your developer to put up a front page if possible).

Hope this helps

__________________
Jessie: Panama City Beach Real Estate, Panama City Real Estate and Panama City Beach Condos

When is a here a her. When it's a her spelled like a here.
Spell Check.

__________________
The problem with the gene pool is...there is no lifeguard.

Actually grammar check

__________________
Jessie: Panama City Beach Real Estate, Panama City Real Estate and Panama City Beach Condos

Thank you to both of you,

I will try to spend more time proofing before posting, and keep things more on the possitive side

__________________
James Boyer
RE/MAX Properties Unlimited
Morristown, NJ 07960
973-647-0253
Serving the Real Estate markets of Morristown, Morris Township, Madison NJ Real Estate, Chatham NJ , Summit, Short Hills, Millburn, Maplewood, South Orange, & West Orange Referals happily given and accepted. For information on home sales in New Jersey please contact. Morristown NJ Real Estate Madison NJ Real Estate Chatham NJ Real Estate

I'm just skimming through here, sorry i didn't read everyword.

just to add to the comments above and more for future posts.. (and this is coming from a personal perspective)..

try writing more FOR the client or about the area. personally, i get tired of seeing 'i do this', ' i do that'..

"As a first time homebuyer, you may feel overwhelmed with the process but rest assured that your not alone. Your under the guidance of a pro and have nothing to fear as your interests are protected and always in mind."

versus..
"I know that as a first time homebuyer you may be overwhelmed, but I am here to guide you and I have your best interests at heart."

not pointing a finget at you, but jsut something to keep in mind since your starting out and forming your voice.