I may have posted this one:

Once there were three bats. They lived in a cave surrounded by three castles. One night the bats made a bet to see who could drink the most blood.

The first bat comes home one night and has blood dripping off his fangs. The other two bats are amazed and asked how much blood he had drunk.

The first bat said, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of three people." The second bat goes out on his night and comes back with blood around his mouth. The other two bats are astonished and ask how many people's blood had he drunk. The bat said, "See that castle over there. I drank the blood of five people."

The third bat goes out on his night and comes back covered in blood. This was totally amazing to the other two bats. They ask how much blood he drank. The 3rd bat said, "See that castle over there?" and the other bats nod. "Well," says the third bat, "I didn't."

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A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly with the waiter right behind her. She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and shouts “Stop that!”
To which the waiter replies, “Sure, which way did it go?”

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Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.

The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."

The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."

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Nicholas May | Creative Linking | Real Estate Webmasters

Oh... those sir are awesome!

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If you're not remembered, you never existed.

By the way, I'm expecting an awesome post from you for your 1000th. Time to make me spit coffee on my monitor. It's near impossible! Unless you punch me in the stomach as I'm sipping.

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Nicholas May | Creative Linking | Real Estate Webmasters

...I don't get the first one :P

The bat flew into the castle wall.

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Nicholas May | Creative Linking | Real Estate Webmasters

The third bat fly into the side of the castle. That is why he is covered in blood - his own - and not because he sucked everyone's blood in the third castle.

oh ok, I guess I did get it than...just didn't really do anything for me...haha so I thought maybe there was some part I wasn't getting...

"Well, I guess it was the thing to do" haha

Good ones!

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Jim Olenbush, ABR, CRS, GRI
Broker / Realtor

Austin Real Estate