Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they're off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.

''Help me find my ball. Look over there,'' he says to Jon. After a few minutes, neither has any luck. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Amanpreet secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. ''I've found my ball!'' he announces.

''After all of the years we've been partners and playing together," Jon says, "you'd cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?''

''What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!''

''And you're a liar, too!'' Jon says. ''I'll have you know I've been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!''
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An old woman walked into a bank and asked for the manager. He took her into a small room, and asked him if she could take out a loan of $500.000. He asked her how she was ever gonna pay it back.

"I make bets," she answered slyly.

"What?" replied the manager.

"I make bets with people, and win their money. Take this for example: I'll bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square."

"You're on," said the Bank Manager, feeling quietly confident.

The next day granny and her accountant came by the bank and went to see the bank manager.

"Now then," she said, "to make this fair, I have brought along my accountant. Now pull your trousers down."

"OK, anything for 25 grand..." he said

"I'll just get a wee feel now, to make sure."

While granny was doing this, the accountant began to bang his head on the wall.

"HAHA!!! They're round!" cried a delighted bank manager. "By the way, what's wrong with your accountant?"

"I bet him $500,000 that I'd have the bank manager by the balls on Friday morning!"
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Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says "So where are you from, then?"

"I'm from Ireland."

"Me too! I'll drink to that." They both finish their pints and order two more.

"Where in Ireland are you from?"

"Dublin."

"Me too! I'll drink to that." They both finish their pints and order two more.

"Where in Dublin are you from?"

"The East Side."

"The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I'll drink to that!" They both finish their pints and order two more.

"Where on the East Side are you from?"

"McDonagh Street."

"Me too! This is incredible! I'll drink to that."

As the bartender pours them another two pints, another customer at the bar says to him, "That's amazing! I can't believe they're from the same street in Dublin. What's going on?"

"Oh, it's nothing amazing," says the bartender,"it's just the Ferguson twins getting sloshed again."

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Nicholas May | Creative Linking | Real Estate Webmasters

I've heard the first one before - its a classic.

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Jennifer Karlen & Jon Karlen
Kentucky Horse Farms - Louisville Kentucky Real Estate - Lexington Kentucky Real Estate
Serving the Louisville KY metropolitan area including Jefferson County - Prospect Shelby County - Shelbyville Oldham County - Goshen, La Grange and the Lexington KY metropolitan area including Fayette County - Lexington Woodford County - Versailles Scott County - Georgetown Jessamine County - Nicholasville

ya the first one is old...the third is totally believable

the first one sounds like the scene from Goldfinger

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Jim Olenbush, ABR, CRS, GRI
Broker / Realtor

Austin Real Estate

actually, that IS the scene from Goldfinger