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Old 07-19-2007, 07:35 AM
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Default Joke of the Day - July 19/07

Amazing Anagrams!

Dormitory == Dirty Room

Desperation == A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code == Here Come Dots

Slot Machines == Cash Lost in 'em

Animosity == Is No Amity

Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z's

Alec Guinness == Genuine Class

Semolina == Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point == I'm a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes == That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two == Twelve plus one

Contradiction == Accord not in it

This one's amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare]

To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Becomes:

In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.

And the grand finale:

"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." -- Neil A. Armstrong

becomes:

A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

_______________________________________

(Best Joke Ever)

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.

"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."
_________________________________________

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."

His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?"
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Old 07-19-2007, 09:23 AM
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Default Re: Joke of the Day - July 19/07

The anagrams are great.... but # 3 is by far the best joke I've ever heard to date.
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Old 07-19-2007, 09:24 AM
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Default Re: Joke of the Day - July 19/07

lol.. no go on the "They're Carrion"? I love it.
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Old 07-19-2007, 09:45 AM
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Default Re: Joke of the Day - July 19/07

lol I got the joke.. just puns make me hurt ever since I read Piers Anthony's Xanth series lol
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Old 07-19-2007, 10:10 AM
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Default Re: Joke of the Day - July 19/07

What a great series that was. Truly the master of the pun.
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Old 07-19-2007, 10:31 AM
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Default Re: Joke of the Day - July 19/07

Good stuff. Quite a few of those I've never heard of before.
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Old 07-19-2007, 11:32 AM
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Default Re: Joke of the Day - July 19/07

Ever read Piers' other series? He did a 5 parter about different aspects of life (death, war, time, fate, earth) that I rather liked. It's not punnish at all, but his typical easy reading. Each aspect has a literal personification.
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Old 07-19-2007, 01:08 PM
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Default Re: Joke of the Day - July 19/07

I've never read any of the work.

I'll put it on my "to buy" list next time I'm at the bookstore.
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