A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest, in search of a fabled cannibalistic tribe. He falls into a trap, goes unconscious and wakes up tied to a stake with a fire burning slowly underneath him.

He cries out for help, and is answered by what is obviously one of the tribesmen, who informs him that he is going to be served as dinner to the leader of the tribe.

"But you don't understand!" he cries, "You can't do this to me! I'm an editor for the New Yorker magazine!"

"Ah," replies the tribesman, "Well now you are editor-in-chief!"
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Once there were two farmers. One had a daughter and the other had a son. When thier kids were teenagers they started dating, and the two farners encouraged it. One day the girl's father went over to the other farmer's house and said that he didn't want thier children dating anymore. The boy's father asked, "Why not?"

The other farmer said, "Come here and I'll show you." In his yard was the girl's name written in pee in the snow.

The boy's father said, "Oh, come on, that's just boy stuff."

The other farmer said, "You think I dont' know my own daughter's handwriting?"

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*Warning* Slightly Vulgar







Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope. On Friday, they appeared in court before the judge.

The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one,

"How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"Seventeen people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this...

_
/ \
| | O
\ _ /

...and told them that this [pointing to the big circle] is your brain before drugs, and that this [pointing to the small circle] your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," said the judge. Then he turns to the second boy. "And you, how did you do?"

"Well, your honor I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"Wow!" said the judge, "156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!?!"

"Well, I used a similar approach," the boy said. And he also drew a simple llustration.

_
/ \
O | |
\ _ /

"I just pointed to the small circle and said, 'This is your @#!hole before prison'...."

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Nicholas May | Creative Linking | Real Estate Webmasters

1st one = kinda corny.


3rd one = winner!!

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Jennifer Karlen & Jon Karlen
Kentucky Horse Farms - Louisville Kentucky Real Estate - Lexington Kentucky Real Estate
Serving the Louisville KY metropolitan area including Jefferson County - Prospect Shelby County - Shelbyville Oldham County - Goshen, La Grange and the Lexington KY metropolitan area including Fayette County - Lexington Woodford County - Versailles Scott County - Georgetown Jessamine County - Nicholasville

hahaha number 3 was by far the best!

That's amazing!

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If you're not remembered, you never existed.

I like the second and third jokes here. I have heard them both before, but still fresh.

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Jason Crouch, Broker
Austin Texas Homes, LLC
512-796-7653 (cell)
Austin Real Estate
Austin Texas Real Estate
Austin Homes

Third is new to me

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