A couple was getting ready to go to a Halloween party but the wife had a terrible headache. She told her husband to go anyway. After a short argument he agreed, and she took some aspirin and went to bed.

Later she awoke and felt great, so she decided to go to the party and see what her hubby did when she wasn't around. As soon as she arrived, she noticed him on the dance floor getting very friendly with every hottie in the place, and groping them when he could.

She then cut in and rubbed close to him. When the song ended, he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Let's go outside." So the two costumed characters snuck off and occupied themselves in one of the parked cars.

Midnight was to be the unveiling of the party-goers, so she slipped out and went home before the clock struck twelve.

When he got home she asked, "How was the party? Did you meet any interesting people?"

He replied, ''You know me, dear. I don't have a good time when you're not with me. I ran into a few friends and we ended up in the basement playing poker. It wasn't very fun at all. But the guy I loaned my costume to had the time of his life!"
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A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.

He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, ''Can I help you?''

''Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines.''
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A man goes to see the doctor and tells the doc that his penis has turned orange.

The doctor looks at it and says, “I haven't ever seen any thing like this before in my entire medical career. What do you do for a living? Do you work around any hazardous materials?” The man says no.

The doctor asks the man what he does all day. The man responds, “Nothing.” The doctor is really puzzled now and says, “You can't not do anything. What do you do at home all day?”

The man replies, “Honestly, doc I, don't do anything. I just sit around, watch porno flicks and eat Cheetos.”

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Nicholas May | Creative Linking | Real Estate Webmasters

I've heard the 1st one before - I still like it.


The 3rd one = eww.

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Jennifer Karlen & Jon Karlen
Kentucky Horse Farms - Louisville Kentucky Real Estate - Lexington Kentucky Real Estate
Serving the Louisville KY metropolitan area including Jefferson County - Prospect Shelby County - Shelbyville Oldham County - Goshen, La Grange and the Lexington KY metropolitan area including Fayette County - Lexington Woodford County - Versailles Scott County - Georgetown Jessamine County - Nicholasville

Love the first one.

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Gatlinburg TN Real Estate | Pigeon Forge Real Estate | Sevierville TN Real Estate

HAHA , I really liked the first one, but I LOVED the second two!

Awesome ones today Nick!!!

The first one is old, and makes me go 'meeeeeeeeeh' but still funny.

#2 is hilarious personally.. just because I know people that would be the idiot..

And #3 is funny... only because I'm sure it's happened before.

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If you're not remembered, you never existed.

I haven't heard #1 before - really funny!

2 was great! haha

Thanks for posting!

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Jim Olenbush, ABR, CRS, GRI
Broker / Realtor

Austin Real Estate

I have heard all of these before, but they are still great. The second one actually reminds me of a phone call I had earlier in the week from a salesperson. When I asked him about the price of the service, he acted like someone had just come into his office (to try to seem more important and not like he didn't know the answer).

He kept me on hold for several minutes (I was interested), then came back and quoted some prices. I got the feeling that I was the first person to ask him this question and he had to run around asking people in his office about the actual cost of what they were selling.

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Jason Crouch, Broker
Austin Texas Homes, LLC
512-796-7653 (cell)
Austin Real Estate
Austin Texas Real Estate
Austin Homes