A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.

As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!"

And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, "Down nuts!" And they all sat.

After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" And they all broke into applause and cheers.

Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.

When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.

The assistant replied, "Well... everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, 'PEANUTS!'"
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A travelling salesman is out in the country selling his wares. He is in the middle of nowhere when his car breaks down, he leaves the car and starts walking and reaches a small farm house. He knocks and a middle aged man opens the door.

The salesman asks him for a place to sleep in the night. The farmer tells that he has only one room with a bed and on that he and his wife (who turns out be gorgeous) sleep. So the salesman sleeps on the bed with the farmer and his lovely wife.

In the middle of the night the farmer's wife gets turned on and asks the salesman to come over to her side and make love to her! The salesman points towards the snoring farmer and whispers, ''He'll wake up!''

The farmer's wife replies, ''He's a sound sleeper. If you don't trust me pull a hair out of his butt and you will see that he won't wake up!''

The salesman tries and the farmer does not wake up. The salesman and the farmer's wife get into a love making session. They repeat the act several more times that night and the salesman plucks a hair out of the farmer's butt everytime he goes to make love the wife.

Finally the farmer wakes up and says, ''Hey, I don't mind you gettin' with my wife, but can you stop using my ass a scoreboard!?!''

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Nicholas May | Creative Linking | Real Estate Webmasters

#2 = keeper.

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Jennifer Karlen & Jon Karlen
Kentucky Horse Farms - Louisville Kentucky Real Estate - Lexington Kentucky Real Estate
Serving the Louisville KY metropolitan area including Jefferson County - Prospect Shelby County - Shelbyville Oldham County - Goshen, La Grange and the Lexington KY metropolitan area including Fayette County - Lexington Woodford County - Versailles Scott County - Georgetown Jessamine County - Nicholasville

Number 2 is a goody....

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| Dubai Property | Advertise Dubai Property | Dubai Property Blog| Call +971 4 323 1018 Specialising in Dubai Property, The Springs, Meadows, Greens, Arabian Ranches, Dubai Marina, Burj Dubai, Jumeirah Islands, Emaar, Signature Villas, Garden Homes, Water Homes, JBR, The World, Nakheel, Business Bay, International City and more.

I laughed at #2.

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If you're not remembered, you never existed.

I liked them both.

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Jason Crouch, Broker
Austin Texas Homes, LLC
512-796-7653 (cell)
Austin Real Estate
Austin Texas Real Estate
Austin Homes