There are three men in the bathroom, two Englishmen and an Australian. All are at the urinals.

The first Englishman zips up and walks over to the sink and uses a lot of soap and water and before he leaves. He says to the others, “In Yorkshire, I learned to be clean and neat.”

The second Englishman zips up, walks over to the sink and uses much less soap and water but is still very clean. He says, “At Bredford Academy, I learned to be clean and neat but still be environmentally aware.”

The third man zips up and heads straight to the door.

The Aussie says over his shoulder, “In Australia, we learn not to p$#@ on our hands.”
_________________________________________

As usual, things were not going well at the United Nations. Thus, many visiting ambassadors had to room together. It just so happend that Vladimir, the Russian Ambassador, and Umballa, the Zambian Ambassador, were sharing a suite. To pass the time, Vladimir introduced his fellow dignitary to the Russian game of roulette. He produced an antique Soviet revolver, and a single bullet. It took a while, but he was finally able to explain the gist of the game to Umballa. Intrigued and excited, Umballa loved the game. By the time the U.N. meeting was over, the two had become fast friends. As they parted company at the airport, Umballa told Vladimir, ''One day, you must visit my country, and try our version of your roulette.''
A year later, Vladimir was in Zambia, and looked up his old friend. Umballa remembered him, and welcomed him with open arms.
''I have come, my comrade, to try your game.''
''Very well. Come with me.'' Umballa took his friend before six, buck-naked bush women. ''Pick one. Any one. And she will give you oral pleasure.''
''But my friend, where is the danger in this?''
Umballa replied with a toothy smile, ''One of them is a cannibal.''

____________________________________



An Egyptian man is walking through the Cairo bazaar, when a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell Viagra (illegal in Egypt) for 100 Egyptian pounds.

"No, not worth it!"

"OK, how about 50 Egyptian pounds?"

"No, not worth it!"

"OK, 20?"

"No, not worth it!"

"How about 10?"

"No, not worth it!"

"Listen, these pills cost US $10 each. How can you say they are not worth it?"

"Oh, the pills ARE worth it. My wife is not worth it."

__________________
Nicholas May | Creative Linking | Real Estate Webmasters

lol they were all grand today (I stopped reading the google joke.. so I'm surprised )

__________________
If you're not remembered, you never existed.

Ok Nick I'll try one here:

A father decides to make dinner for his wife and 2 kids because his wife is working late. He wants to make something special. He decides to cook a rabbit but not tell the kids because they wont eat it if they know what it is. The wife comes home, they all sit down for dinner and the son first takes a bite and says, "wow, dad this is really good, what is it?" the father tells him its a secret family dish. The daughter takes a bite and also says, "dad, this is great, come on, tell us what it is." The father waits a moment and decides to give his kids a small clue. He looks at his wife and smiles, then tells his kids, "it's a word your mom calls me sometimes". Hearing that, the daughter spits it out and screams to her brother, "Don't eat that, it's an a**hole!".

__________________
Fort Lauderdale Real Estate | Fort Lauderdale Condo | Fort Lauderdale MLS

I love that joke! <3 Fort Lauderdale.

__________________
If you're not remembered, you never existed.

I liked all of these today.

__________________
Jason Crouch, Broker
Austin Texas Homes, LLC
512-796-7653 (cell)
Austin Real Estate
Austin Texas Real Estate
Austin Homes

lol. Awesome.

__________________
Nicholas May | Creative Linking | Real Estate Webmasters

Good ones.

__________________
Jennifer Karlen & Jon Karlen
Kentucky Horse Farms - Louisville Kentucky Real Estate - Lexington Kentucky Real Estate
Serving the Louisville KY metropolitan area including Jefferson County - Prospect Shelby County - Shelbyville Oldham County - Goshen, La Grange and the Lexington KY metropolitan area including Fayette County - Lexington Woodford County - Versailles Scott County - Georgetown Jessamine County - Nicholasville