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Old 08-10-2007, 07:43 AM
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Default Joke Of The Day - August 10/07

If any of you can name the source of this joke without looking it up, you will earn much respect from me

See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum…and one night…one night they decide they don’t like living in an asylum any more. They decide they’re going to escape! So like they get up on to the roof, and there, just across the narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in moon light…stretching away to freedom.

Now the first guy he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend daren’t make the leap. Y’see he’s afraid of falling… So then the first guy has an idea. He says “Hey! I have my flash light with me. I will shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk across the beam and join me.” B-But the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says …he says “What do you think I am, crazy? You would turn it off when I was half way across."

__________________________________________

A man goes to the doctor and gets a check up. The doctor finishes the exam and tells the man, "I have some bad news, you only have have about two weeks left to live".

The man is shocked. He asks the doctor, "Is there is any thing that he could do to make the time that I have left more tolerable?"

The doctor thinks for a moment. "There is one thing that you could do".

"Just name it, I''''ll do whatever it is". He tells the man to take alot of mud baths, two or three a day.

The man looks at his doctor asks, "Will that help my condition"?

The doctor says, "No, but it will get you used to the dirt."

__________________________________________

WARNING: Slightly Dirty. Avert your eyes, children!





Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears,and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.

''First, you must wear a diaphragm. But if you're not home by 2 AM, your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin.'' Cinderella agrees, but she doesn't roll in until five in the morning, looking love-struck and very satisfied.

''Where have you been?'' demands the fairy godmother. ''Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!''

''I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything.''

''I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!''

''I can't remember, exactly. It was Peter, Peter, something or other...''
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Old 08-10-2007, 07:46 AM
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Default Re: Joke Of The Day - August 10/07

#3 = winner today.

[No idea on the source of the joke without looking it up.]
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Old 08-10-2007, 07:48 AM
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Default Re: Joke Of The Day - August 10/07

I'm going to be extremely proud if someone does.
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Old 08-10-2007, 09:18 AM
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Default Re: Joke Of The Day - August 10/07

I'm gonna go work in the garden.
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Old 08-10-2007, 09:53 AM
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Default Re: Joke Of The Day - August 10/07

The essential clue is in the stammer....calling it a lunatic asylum dates it back into the 50's....Red Skelton?
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Old 08-10-2007, 09:56 AM
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Default Re: Joke Of The Day - August 10/07

The joke itself, I don't know the origin. The character who says it was "born" in the 40's. I'm more referring to the character who tells it, when they tell it and where. Etc.


Here's a HUGE hint... The joke is called "The Killing Joke"
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Last edited by SEO Nick; 08-10-2007 at 09:59 AM.
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Old 08-10-2007, 10:31 AM
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Default Re: Joke Of The Day - August 10/07

The one about the doctor reminds me of another joke (forgive me if it has already been told here before):

A man is getting a check-up, and his doctor leaves the room for a few minutes, then returns with a very serious expression on his face.

"What's wrong?", says the man.

"Well, I'm afraid I have some very bad news."

"What is it?"

"You are very sick, and you don't have long left to live."

"How long do I have?", the man asks.

"Ten."

"Ten what? Weeks? Months? Years?"

The doctor says, "Nine..."
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Old 08-10-2007, 11:49 AM
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Default Re: Joke Of The Day - August 10/07

Quote:
Originally Posted by jasoncrouch View Post
The one about the doctor reminds me of another joke (forgive me if it has already been told here before):

A man is getting a check-up, and his doctor leaves the room for a few minutes, then returns with a very serious expression on his face.

"What's wrong?", says the man.

"Well, I'm afraid I have some very bad news."

"What is it?"

"You are very sick, and you don't have long left to live."

"How long do I have?", the man asks.

"Ten."

"Ten what? Weeks? Months? Years?"

The doctor says, "Nine..."
Hahahaha
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Old 08-10-2007, 12:11 PM
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Default Re: Joke Of The Day - August 10/07

Good stuff.
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Old 08-10-2007, 12:19 PM
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Default Re: Joke Of The Day - August 10/07

I loved the jokes, and I knew the joke.. just couldn't place it.

After googling it.. man it was like 'DOH'. I really can't believe I didn't remember it lol
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