Getting Married on Dec. 1st! Father sends hilarious email...

RESteve · 08-29-2007, 01:19 PM

Well, I'm damn excited to be married in Dec! My fiance and I have been engaged for too long; it's time to seal the deal.

With that said and announced to my family, my father sends this hysterical email:

"To: Tech Support

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of the phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0, but un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me?

Jonathan Powell

To: Mr. Powell

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than their original system. Look in your manual under Warnings - Alimony / Child Support. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPSs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The
best course of action will be to push the apologize button, then the reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFS. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very
high maintenance."

LOL.

Malok · 08-29-2007, 01:22 PM

Thats a funny one. I like it.

Tsena · 08-29-2007, 02:31 PM

Now thats funny!!!!

Eric Blackwell · 08-29-2007, 04:03 PM

Congrats Steve!!

Haven't talked to you in WAY too long! That was the PERFECT thing for your Dad to send you! Hehe

Hope all is well down in Texas and GLAD to hear that you are tying the knot. Been married 18 years and I recommend it! Watch out for those GPFs!

Best to you, buddy! and congrats again. Let's talk sometime soon.

Eric

SEO Nick · 08-29-2007, 04:44 PM

You're actually gettin' married? Good for you, man! Perfect time to fly all of us REW guys(and gals) down for your wedding

jasoncrouch · 08-29-2007, 05:53 PM

Steve - This is an awesome post. Thanks for sharing this email. Very funny! Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

Mack Perry · 08-29-2007, 07:19 PM

Something else to consider is to make certain that you know which programs you are running.

Calum · 08-29-2007, 08:49 PM

Too funny!

Congratulations and Best Wishes,

Calum

RESteve · 08-30-2007, 08:20 AM

Thanks everyone for the kind words and wishes, and glad you liked the story! We're going to go ahead and get married, and as soon as my fiance is out of nursing school we'll head out on our honeymoon.

Otherwise, we'll never have time to get married.

SEO Dave · 08-30-2007, 09:33 AM

Hahaha, awesome.

Congratulations Steve!

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